Feeling so much better today!

I saw a new Neuro this morning, and I am walking away with MUCH more hope than I had yesterday. She flat out said that autonomic dysfunction is out of her scope, but she in no way discounted my suspicions. She is going to treat my migraines and vertigo starting now, and she is sending me for the testing that is available in this area for vertigo and memory loss, including an MRA of my head and neck, an EEG, neuropsych testing (it makes sure each section of the brain is functioning, it doesn't ask how you feel about that). She is sending me to a specific ENT that treats her friend and husband for vertigo, and who will refer me to Iowa City if need be. Once we get this out of the way, if I am still having problems, she will refer me to Chicago for autonomic testing and treatment. She is LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER, and I didn't even have to beg.

Wacky conversations

I have to admit, quite a few interesting conversations have sprung up as a result of brain fog. Let me give you a few examples:


Jen: Where do you want to go for dinner?
Me: I dunno. What sounds good to you?
Jen: Let's go to whatsit...
Me: Ok, where's whatsit?
Jen: You mean you don't know? I'm speaking YOUR language!

(After I handed a toothbrush with toothpaste to my 2 year old niece, KK)
Me: Brush your hair, KK.
KK, giving me a strange look: I don't want to brush my hair! Nooooo!

Sister in law: What are you going to order?
Me: I'm going to get pecan omelettes.
Sister in law: Pecan OMELETTES? WHAT?

Me: So apparently, there's this man-eating elephant. It's killed like 6 or 7 people so far.
Jen: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah. They've sent out hunting groups to look for it.
Jen: A man-eating elephant, huh?
Me: Elephant? No. Tiger. Didn't I say tiger?
Jen: Nope, you sure didn't.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Connections.

In an effort to figure out what makes a bad braining day a bad braining day, I started taking my blood pressure and pulse fairly often on those days. And guess what? The days I have the hardest time thinking seem to be the days when my blood pressure fluctuates a LOT in a short period of time. Today (well, yesterday, technically), was a really bad brain day. It started with losing words in the morning, and just got worse from there. My bp would go from 62/38 to 150/100 to 126/110 to 150/34 all within a half hour. It's no wonder I can't think. There's no consistent blood flow to my poor little brain!

Missing Tess Gerritsen

I remember back in the "old days", I'd hurry to Goodwill and buy a dozen books, and then savor them, one by one - generally two or three a week. I'd draw up a nice, hot, extra-bubbly bubble bath, slide into the bath, then climb into the story. The water would start to get cool, and I'd add more hot. Sometimes over and over and over because I just couldn't bring myself to put the book down. It was a fantastic way to de-stress!

These days, I'm limited in what I can read. It generally can't be any longer than a short news article, or I'll forget what was at the top before I'm halfway to the bottom. It's extremely weird to me, as I have ALWAYS been a reader. Even as a first grader, I would wander down to the library (less than a block from my home), and check out as many Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden books as they would allow...and they allowed me to check out twice as many as the rules stated for children.

Walking through Walmart the other day, I saw a book by one of my favorite authors, Tess Gerritsen, and I reached up to pick it up before I realized...wait...I won't be able to read it. It would be a complete waste of money. It was like a nice, swift kick in the gut to realize I may never be able to enjoy the new books by my favorite authors.

I used to be terrified that one day, I'd go blind, like my grandmother has. She, too, was a voracious reader. It never, ever occurred to me that it wouldn't be my eyes, but my own brain that would turn against me.

Migraines and Brain Fog

For the past week or so, I've had daily migraines again. For quite a while, propranalol had kept my migraines in check most of the time. I was down to 1-3 a week, and they weren't as painful. Surprisingly, it has been since I INCREASED the propranalol that I've gone back to having them daily.

Thank the heavens for Imitrex. It's the only thing that will stop a migraine cold for me. Unfortunately, it makes the muscles in my neck and shoulders SUPER tense, and in turn causes numbness and/or weakness in my arms. I've had to take them every day, sometimes twice a day for the last week. I'm pretty sure you could hit my neck with a steel beam, and it would bend the beam and leave my neck unharmed. Ugh.

Along with POTS and with migraines comes brain fog. I sit on my butt on the couch most of the time, so it's not a huge deal. But tonight, I sat down to make a template/transfer for a fairly large tattoo that Jen wants to have done. It is a very detailed picture, and it took quite a while to do. It wasn't until I was completely finished that I realized I'd done it on the wrong side of the carbon paper... the image was backwards. Damn it! (And I SPECIFICALLY did it that way!!! I swore it would come out the right direction. Not my finest moment.) I told her that if she wanted it done, she'd better do the next template. *sigh*

Hopefully, this is approximately what the tattoo will look like, though it will be wrapped around her lower arm.