Monday, March 3, 2014

Afraid to hope...and I hate it.

Like I said in a previous post, I used to be a fairly positive person. So it kills me now that being hopeful is so scary.

I recently had some labs done. My regular family doc wanted to make sure that we'd covered all of the bases on things that could be causing my symptoms. She included a test for Vitamin D. It turns out that I'm deficient. In fact, I have less than a quarter of the LOWEST amount one should have in their blood.

Could something this simple be causing my symptoms? Could taking a supplement return my life to me? Or am I deficient because the illness prevents me from going outside much? It's crazy how light-sensitive my eyes have become, and it's impossible for me to go out and do "normal" things in the sun because of my balance problems. Which came first? The chicken or the egg?

She put me on a pretty high dosage of Vitamin D supplement, and we'll retest in 8 weeks.

I know that attitude is important when dealing with chronic illness. I just don't know how willing I am to hope this is going to end my health problems. I've hoped so many other times - usually before tests, or before seeing yet another new specialist - only to be let down. I'm not sure how many more let-downs I can take.

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