Piece by piece

I feel as though I am losing myself, piece by piece. First, it was the ability to walk without running into things. Then it was the ability to work or drive. Then it was the ability to concentrate. Then the ability to learn was severely compromised. Then the ability to be happy without an antidepressant. Then the ability to shower without someone else in the house.

I wonder at times, when this is all said and done, how much of me will be left?

I wonder at times, when is my wife going to say enough is enough, and that I am not the person she married? This all started about 9 months in to our marriage. Yeah, in sickness and in health, and all that, but I wonder is it fair of me to keep her to that promise?

Don't get me wrong! She has said and done nothing at all to indicate that she's fed up. Quite the contrary - she is by my side at every appointment she is able to attend. She's taken up the roles of sole breadwinner, taxi driver, and nurse without complaint. She reminds me that I AM still in here, that it's just abilities I've lost, but my personality is intact. And that she is madly in love with me and will never, ever leave.

But how fair is it of me to expect that to continue? I can't be the wife I once was. I feel like I contribute so little. This isn't a 50-50 relationship anymore, and it may very well get even worse in the future.